Reality in the Midst of a Dreamy Weekend

This weekend my husband and I are on a mini getaway. I had a conference for church treasurers on Saturday (which went well... very informative), so we decided to come down to Tampa on Friday and stay through Sunday. We went to Busch Gardens on Friday and are going again free today, as soon as my husband manages to roll out of bed.

After years with the kids, it was nice to have a break. We hardly ever leave the kids. And we were reminded what it was like before we had them. For instance, twice at Busch Gardens we were allowed to skip in line because there were only two of us. We thought we had hit the jackpot. That night we went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner. Our local Outback is always crammed full of people, and there is usually a wait of around an hour. We went to a nearby Outback here in Tampa, which was also crammed with people. We walked up to the hostess, and I asked, "How long's the wait?" to which she replied: "There's no wait for two people." We were in heaven. This two-person stuff is pretty easy, especially when the other person is an adult.

I knew I would miss my two little guys, my ever-sweet Nicholas, and my, also sweet, but totally "don't-even-think-about-looking-away-because-I-will-do-something-I'm-not-supposed-to-and-try-your-patience-yet-again" Caroline. But I didn't miss them yet; maybe after dinner.

So we sat down to a lovely dinner. There was a family with three children sitting in the booth behind me. One of the kids, a girl of about 7, kept banging on the back of her seat, which was also the back of mine. She beat and kicked and made such a fuss I wondered if she would ever stop. Just as I was driven to the point of distraction, I heard her mother say, "Stop it, Caroline!"

I should have known.

So It's Monday

I started taking summer courses last week, and it exhausted me! Remember the good ol' days when school was all that was expected for you to do? Maybe a part-time job, and that was hard enough. Fast forward 10 years later, add a husband, two kids, a full-time job, a home, a dog, a cat, and everything else that goes along with the sheer joy of being an adult... then add school. Whew! I'm tired just typing all of that.

But I'm so excited. My Anatomy & Physiology course (and corresponding lab) will be hard, no doubt, but after years of staying at home, typing incessantly, finally figuring out that nursing is what I want to do feels like a weight has been lifted. It feels so good to be going somewhere, if you know what I mean. And I think with age comes the love of learning new things, interesting things... things that before were just something you had to do to get to where you were going. I think as an adult you enjoy the trip and the destination.

So I'm looking forward to learning lots of stuff I didn't know before (and sharing it with my husband, who groans when I use big scientific words at inappropriate times). Bring on the exhaustion!

Happy Mother's Day

Sunday is Mother's Day, just in case anyone has yet to remind you. Some mothers are like that. It's a test... will you remember on your own? Will you know exactly what she wants? I, on the other hand, am not like that. If no one knows about an upcoming holiday, I have no one to blame but myself for not reminding them. To me, Mother's Day isn't that big of a deal. I think that's what is great about holidays. Sometimes they remind you that life ain't so bad on a regular day.

I do like that these holidays enforce appreciation in children. My kids are 6 and 7, and sometimes they need reminding that mothers are something to be grateful for. There's nothing like peer pressure to drive that point home. If the whole country is out celebrating mothers, maybe it's not so uncool.

My daughter could certainly use an extra dose of appreciation. I was cleaning her room the other day and came across a purple lid to a storage container that was written on with green marker (a no-no!) the words "I hayt my mothr." My eyes filled with tears immediately. The only thing I hate in this world is the word "hate." It is such a strong word, especially to be used by a 6-year-old in reference to the person who loves her more than all of the people on this planet could possibly love her.

When I asked her about it, she said that that was days ago and she was "just kidding." After a short discussion about how my feelings were hurt and how much I loved her, I let her get on with her day. It wouldn't have done any good to have a long, drawn-out conversation detailing exactly why I was so disturbed by it. She's 6, after all.

And now that I'm a mom and I look at my mom, I know that some things you don't learn until you have children of your own. That's why there is Mother's Day... because even if you don't know how much you should appreciate your mother, on this day you can at least pretend to know.

Birthday Hangover

I have been awake for 11 hours now, and I can count on one hand... okay, two fingers... what I have accomplished today. Mondays are usually my "power day" because I'm rested and ready to go, but not so today. I had lunch with a friend at noon, which seems to throw me for a loop every single time. I don't feel like I can really dig in before I have to leave... and then I don't feel I have enough time afterwards. I had such a great birthday Saturday, that then rolled over to Sunday, that now I think I just can't get back in the groove. I have typed about 12 pages today, did manage to load the dishwasher, and played games on the computer and messed around on Facebook for the remainder of it. Oh good! So I did four things.

Now we're off to our next to last T-ball game. You're welcome for the short post.

My Birthday

Tomorrow I turn the big 3-0. I'm kind of excited, because birthdays are always exciting. Last year I e-mailed everyone the day before my birthday to make sure they had my e-mail address so they could wish me happy birthday the next day. It was a success. I got over 30 birthday wishes!

My husband has managed to keep my gift a surprise, which is really a struggle for him. He usually gives away too many hints, and I know well in advance. I'm not saying I don't have my suspicions...

This year it struck me that turning 30 means I have turned 15 twice, and remember how incredibly long it took to get to 15 the first time? I was in a panic. What have I been doing with my life? Why is it taking me nearly 8 years to lose 30 pounds? And you know, that is the only negative thing I can think of.

Sure, there have been many, many mistakes. And they all got me here. In the midst of all this chaos, there is life. And I love it. Two beautiful, healthy children; a wonderful, loving husband of almost 9 years; a job (which puts me ahead of the curve these days); a home; a car; Jesus.

So I'm over feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow my sister is taking me for a pedicure and some overdue girl time. My husband and kids will take care of dinner. Besides that, it will probably be a day like any other. And thanks be to God for that.

*Disclaimer: Lately I have tended to wax philosophical, mainly because this blog is new and I am at this point just making myself write every day to get into a groove. Really, I'm very funny... let me get comfortable. I promise I will get better at this.

My New Baby

I have a new baby today... a brand new laptop. Well, refurbished. The funny thing is, right now I'm typing on my old one. Here's a visual: my old laptop is lying splayed out on the fold-out table I use for a desk. The right hinge is shot; the display panel is bent; and when the display actually decides to work, everything is tinted pink. I have a shelf that is supposed to be used for kitchen items positioned over my laptop, with a flat panel monitor on it; this is what I'm using for a display. It is totally functional... not portable, but functional.

I have actual dents in most of the keys from the constant tapping that is my life. It is obvious I use my right thumb to hit the spacebar. My left Control key is gone. There are worn-out spots below the keyboard where my palms rest. My L has been wiped off. My N is an I. I love this computer.

That did not stop me from actually jumping up and down and applauding the UPS guy when he showed up at my door today with the new one. I can actually pick this one up and transport it to the living room if I want. I can put it in my car and take it to class, or to meetings, or to Paris.

But for today I am here typing on old faithful. I am looking at the new one. Boy, she's a beauty. Shiny and clean, a full panel of keys, nice smooth hinges. She's too nice to touch. Maybe I'll get around to breaking her in tomorrow.

Running... And I Use That Term Loosely

I am trying to be a little more active. I have about 30 or so pounds more to lose, not a small amount, and I have been trying to diet on my own. I have been a Weight Watchers member before, and that program seems to work for me. Once you know the program, if you're not one of those people who need the meetings, it is easy enough to follow alone. I am certainly not a religious dieter (which might be why I'm not losing as fast as I would like), but right now my main focus is exercise.

I love, love, love my iPod with the Nike+ application. It keeps me going and encourages me to improve my speed, my time, and my distance. Once I get out there, I have no problem pushing myself to do better. It's the actual getting ready to go that gets to me. Making time to do it. Deciding if I have time to not only run, but also to get a shower and get dressed afterwards to go forward with my day.

In high school I played softball and volleyball, and I even cheered one year. I did not have a problem with weight then; outwardly, I should say. I look at pictures of myself from that time and wonder how I ever thought I was overweight, because let me tell you, I was skinny! My mom cooked loads of food almost every night, and I had no problem with weight. I know it was because of my activity.

Sunday, my husband and I went "running," which is really walking with a few spurts of extra speed mixed in, and my quads were sore yesterday. That is a great feeling. I need to make time to "run" today... if only to get away from the pot roast that will be stewing and filling the house with yummy scents all day. I think committing myself to every other day is doable. We shall see.